WEDDING AT KLUANG - DAY 1

Shafrizal and Normah decked in their finery

Looking sleek in black

Another beautiful shot of the couple

Sitting like 'Pinang di belah dua'

My first time gracing the berinai ceremony

Pak Cik Latif saying prayers for the couple

A must shot - with the parents

Abang Hassan and Kak Salbiah family

Hussein and Ba'ayah Family

Hanafi and Faezah family

Harith and Ita family

Pak Cik Latif and Kak Faridah family

Azizah & Isa and Hafizah & Latif family

New friendship was built on that night

The ladies corner with their latest updates

Second cousins meeting for the first time

The Oil Sheikh with his string of harem

Hussein and hubby meeting again after sixteen years



Special prayer session before the bersanding ceremony


The ala-kampung dinner which was to my liking

The rest house we booked for our stay

Hanafi and Harith Juniors

Abang Hassan taking a rest after ferrying around so many guests

Meeting Kak Salbiah again after 25 years

The berkat or wedding gifts for the guests

ABANG HASSAN'S INVITATION - DAY 1

4th December
When Cousin Harith from KL e-mailed me requesting for the addresses and contact numbers of our Singaporean family members, excitement rushed through my system. Instantly I knew there would be another family gathering where we would get to meet some of the cousins and their children who are living in Malaysia. The last mammoth gathering we had was in 2000 for the Sheikh Madar Clan at Crown Prince Plaza Hotel, Scotts Road. Close to 120 family members from all over the world were present, each having a fabulous time and bringing home warm wonderful memories etched firmly in their mind. I see memory as a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose. And dear family members are definitely one of those things you would want to remember and treasure most in the bosom of your hearts.

A flurry of activity followed as soon as the wedding invitation card was received. It triggered a madness of contacting each other between the cousins, uncles and aunties about attending the wedding ceremony of Abang Hassan's eldest son's marriage; Mohd Shafrizal to Normah. Phone calls were made, mails were exchanged, transport arrangement was made and holidays leave were applied. My husband and I could not wait for that drive across the causeway to grace the ceremony.

With no hassle at both checkpoints because of our early morning drive, we were at Kluang by 9.45am, sipping Kluang Rail Coffee and munching its peninsular-famed charcoal-roasted toast. Since we did not know the way to the groom's house, we called Abang Hassan to direct us to his home. I glanced at his face, and the pilot light of memory flickered in my eyes. The last time I met him was on his wedding day, probably about 27 years ago and now I was attending his son's wedding. It was incredible indeed!

A lot of changes had taken place between us, firstly in terms of our age and secondly in our looks without doubt. The lapse in the years was not difficult for me to recognise him. He was the splitting image of his late father. We clasped each other's hands in the usual salam manner and I introduced him to my husband.

Our Terios tailed him to his double storey terraced house at Taman Kg Melayu. Apparently we were the first visitor from Singapore to arrive. I soon spotted Kak Salbiah and made a beehive for her. After all the formal introduction of 'who is who' in the house we had nasi lemak for breakfast. The faintest waft of the coffee in my hand was enough to induce my memory, and to transport me back through time and space to a long-forgotten moment in my teenage hood when I first stepped at Kluang. It immediately overwhelmed me in an instant, creeping into my consciousness slowly and evaporating almost the moment it is detected.

More relatives from Penang and Kuala Lumpur began to fill in the living room. Hugs and kisses were exchanged. Amidst the 'salam', shrieking and shouting akin to the Red Indians war dance which almost brought the roof down, were heard. How I wish my two sons were around so that they could also get to know their relatives from my mum's family tree. Alas, the call of duty for them superceded any other matters. Meanwhile, I kept texting my sister, Hafizah who was supposed to join us but because their car needed some repair works in Johor Bahru, had to be delayed.

Lunch was a big reunion with over thirty guests already present. My prayers were answered when I helped out with the serving trays. True kampung dishes were served! I was drooling and salivating at the sambal ikan bakar, cabbage with bean curd skin soup, salted fish and that not to be missed in most Malay house, the humble-looking sambal belacan. That spread was already heaven to my palate. The ikan bakar was amazing and if not for feeling a lit bit 'paiseh' (shy) I would have taken another piece.

By 4pm, Harith and my husband unanimously decided that we needed a wash up before getting ready for the 'berinai' ceremony at night. We drove to a hillock where we had booked our government rest house. Greenery surrounded the building and a jogging path circled it. I locked that scene in my mind for it would be perfect for my next morning's walk.

Room 108 was on the ground floor. It had a double bed and the toilet was like the size of my dining room. See how much you can get when a country can afford to expand horizontally rather than vertically. Space and light are very important to me. I am a little bit claustrophobic so I was thankful for the spaciousness of the room which cost RM $83 per night.

We were later joined by Latifah and Pak Cik Latiff and Kak Dah. At 5.30pm, we finally fetched Hafizah and Latif from the railway station. After some sandwiches, horfun, mee goreng and coffee, we got ready for the next agenda of the night. Bundled in several cars, we left the rest house at 8pm for the berinai ceremony.

Shafrizal (Bob) and Normah looking like a king and a queen, were decked in their finery. Seated on the dais, they were blessed by relatives during the berinai cermemony. Invited guests, usually the elderly representing from both sides of the couple would throw some bunga rampai and sprinkle 'air mawar' (rose water) at them. The guests would then be presented with the bunga paha egg. I guess I was considerd one of the senior citizens and thus was invited to do the 'renjis' (sprinkle) at the couple.

Photo sessions took place after the berinai ceremony. One family after another took their shots. While the couple was busy with the photo session and the changing of their costumes ceremony, we slowly headed for the buffet table for dinner. Asam pedas, ulam (salad), chicken korma, chapchye, sambal belachan and salted fish were waiting for the hungry guests. It was another finger-licking makansutra episode.

Hussein and family from Subang joined us next. Another round of slapping each other's back took place. We had such fun talking and chatting to catch up with the lost time. The night was still young but Pak Cik Latif had been twitching in his seat. That was the sign for him to take leave. We pestered him to stay longer for it was one of those rare occassions where the assembly of the Madar Clan had taken place.

It was a night to be remembered for all of us. The family togetherness had helped to glue and bond us, especially with the third and fourth generation of the clan. I spent in bed trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together. It must be the belief in keeping one's family tree intact with a double dosage for sacrifices and committment. We threw ourselves into the interests of the others, plowing his or her own furrow. Our thoughts, our little passions and hopes and desires, all ran along separate lines. Yet we rise as one in times of needs and despair. Family life is like this - animated, but collateral and collective. I slept with a smile, rested, yet reminding myself to get on with living and loving. We don't have forever.

Mama miss you Thaqif and Nizar!