PERFECT AS A PICTURE

My cousin and his lovely bride in a traditional Malay wedding costume

From traditional to the modern wedding gown

The multi-tiered wedding cake

The cake as as preety as the real flower
My sisters and mum with the lovely couple
The exquisitely decked dias complete with chandeliers

Three sisters in a row - Pasirisrella, Tampinesrella and Yishurella

A multi-purpose hall is used for the wedding reception

With my ex-student Arnilah who was a guest at the wedding

Dessert for the guests to nibble

With my Aunt Yah

My uncle and his children

Uncle Kadir Bin Haji Moonshi

A happy moment with the wedded couple

A PEEK IN THE PAST

Malay weddings are grand affairs which involve both the groom's and the bride's family. I truly mean the whole family. It's not just the immediate family members who would be busy, but almost all those in the family tree who are still alive would play a role, be it significant or not to be part of the celebration and in the planning. Work can begin a year ahead of the agreed wedding date so that all events of the wedding can be executed in a military-like precision drill on the actual nuptial date. That's the joy of being involved in a Malay wedding.

Times have changed and Malay weddings nowadays are celebrated differently, but still with lots of grandeur and finesse. The void decks or multipurpose halls where the wedding ceremony takes place, are decked with flowers, chandeliers and the concrete columns draped in different pastel hues, gold, silver and even black.The deco depicts the theme which the bride or groom have selected. Gothic, country, modern, romantic, resort, garden.....just name it and the wedding planners would fulfill your dream of the year. Just be ready to pull out thick wads of notes to pay your wedding planner after that. Family members are not totally busy as most of the major tasks have been taken over by the hired event planner.

When my uncles got married in the 1960s, all planning and preparation were carried out by immediate family members and close friends. No one has ever heard of a wedding planner during those times. The only important person in the bride's lips would only be the 'Mak Andam' (the beautician) and for the groom, it would definitely be the 'Tok Kathi' or the religious official who solemnises the marriage. Other than that, all detailed planning had to be undertaken by the parents, aunties, uncles and siblings of the couple. All details pertaining to the wedding are written in a book so that when the next child gets married, the reference needed has been recorded. The Tok Penghulu or the village head would also be consulted for his highly regarded views and opinions.

To host the wedding feast, a simple tent was erected at granny's kampung house. A flat ground around the compound area was chosen. It would be easier to place the wooden tables and chairs on the flat hard ground. The kampung youths would fell coconut fronds and securely tie these around the tent frame. A football kind of carnival atmosphere would fill the air because flags from all over the world would be hung along the tent structure. These colourful flags of bright leaf green, bloody red, sunflower yellow and Prussian blue would flap and flutter every time the wind blew, announcing to the guests that they had reached the right house for the wedding.

If the couple could afford, life band would be hired to add more gaiety to the occasion. A Ramlie and The Rhythm Boys (the heart throb of many Malay girls in the 60's) did perform at one of my uncle's wedding day. Another top choice band during that era would be The Siglap Five with Jefrydin as the hit singer. Nowadays, DJs manning the karaoke system has replaced most of these live performances. They earn good money. Even the guests are free to sing together with the hired singers.

The kompang is still featured in most weddings up till now. Occasionally tough-looking Harley riders clad in black with metal chains dangling from their jean pockets. ride along behind the groom's bridal car. Their presence add some pomp, novelty and needless to say help to increase the decibel measurement of the noise level when their leather covered hands revved up the throttle of those monster engines.

A “Joget Lambak” (free-all-traditional dancing) session would also be held on the eve of the wedding date, usually on the Saturday. It offered the ideal opportunity for guests to let their hair down by getting up on the stage and literally dance the night away. The kampung band, playing traditional instruments would provide the music. Dances play an integral part in a Malay culture as a creative and a community expression of its people.

You would witness the strong gotong royong spirit being practised during the wedding. Everyone is chipping in to ensure on the success of the wedding. Neighbours and relatives would stream in to offer help of any kind to the couple's parents. And they didn't appear empty handed. Traditional kueh like baulu, lempeyek, epok-epok, putri salat and koleh-koleh would be given to the host to serve those who would also pop in.

The elderly would be involved in mass cooking for the hundreds or even thousands of the invited guests. The bride's or the groom's house would be a hive of activity a week before the actual wedding date. Nasi beryani is a must to be served with beef, chicken, dalcha, achar and pachri. Those days firewood would be used as fuel to cook the rice and the dishes. Guests would go home with the bunga telur too as a token of appreciation from the host. In return, they would present the host with 'wang sumbangan' or some cash. It was also quite common for the wedded couple to receive boxes of gifts, usually glassware and electrical appliances from their guests. These gifts would be placed beside the dias or pelamin as display items for the guests to see. Nowadays, couple receive department store shopping vouchers for them to purchase the items they need to start their home with.

The youth of the kampung would help to serve the guests as well as wash the dishes and the big blacken pots used in the cooking. Since youngsters hardly date during those times, such social functions like a Malay wedding would be one opportunity for them to get to know one other from the opposite sex. Names and address are exchanged for the next contact. No hand phone number or email addresses, mind you. If you want to keep in touch with the person you like, it's all done through the laborious means of letter writing. I wonder how many romances had bloomed and ended up in marriages when these youngsters met and helped out during such wedding feasts. Weddings are waited with bated breath by the youngsters for they might cross paths with their future life partner.

I still remember what the kampung folks did to keep the rain away on the wedding date. The chief chef would skewer a few pieces of shallots and red chilly through a satay stick. He would then poke the stick into the ground. Though many things associated with Malay wedding have changed and long gone, but this custom has not died out. I still see some wedding cooks practising this to keep away the clouds from bursting its moisture on the wedding day.

IN MEMORY

TO ALLAH WE RETURN

Inna lillaahi Wa Inna Ilayhi Raaji'oon



Shahrin, Allahyarham's son

Hubby and Shahrin

Getting ready for the Tahlil to start

Abang Ahmad (centre), Allahyarham;s twin brother

Tok Latif, led the Tahlil session

Tok Ansari and Abang Ahmad

Shahrin with his uncle

Cik Rohemy helped to serve

We ate Nasi Arab from Kg Melayu after the kenduri

Jugs of tea were made by Noraidah

Packs of Nasi Arab on the table

The house at Taman Suria

With Rozeenah, a cousin, whom we gave a lift to JB

Allahyarham's widow, Saedah with mum

Who's consoling who?

Noraidah with Saedah

A shot in the house

Saedah's daughter was in Sabah when her father passed away

Saedah;s friend helped her a lot that day

After the funeral

Saedah's family members from Singapore

Family members from Singapore

Aunties and cousins

My uncles - Cik Latif and Cik Majid

Ahmad exchanging numbers with Cik Ansari

Khatijah (2nd f left) also came to 'melawat'

Cik Ansari with nephews

Allahyarham Muhammad Bin Ali Hassan

27 June 2010

Al-Fatheha

I was flipping the morning papers when the phone rang. A voice through the mouth piece asked, "Have you heard the not so good news, already? Cik Ansari enquired. I felt uncomfortable with his tone and question for it only meant the passing on of someone we all knew.

My cousin in JB had passed away in his sleep peacefully, leaving behind his wife and two grown-up children. Allahyarham Muhammad was close to us. When I was young, my aunty (Allahyarhammah Jamilah Bte Sheikh Madar), whom we called Mak Long would bundle us into her car and drive us up across the causeway to 10 Jalan Storey. She had no daughters so her nieces became the apples of her eyes. The bungalow house was so huge that there was ample space for a badminton court, an orchard where mangosteen trees grew, a huge compound for a marathon to take place and seven bedrooms to boot. All of her children had their own room and as visitors we dared not stepped into any of these rooms. Forbidden space!

Come every holiday, we would wait anxiously for Mak Long and her driver to ferry my cousins and I faithfully across the Straits of Johor. There were no projects, extra lessons or homework to bother us. We had time and childhood in our hands. The time I owned allowed me to pursue my passion in knitting, tatting, embroidery, cross stitching, floral arrangement and dabbling with still life. Notice I did not mention cooking or baking. Not my forte but throw me some silver thread and a golden needle and I would stitch your life on the plain material.

That was also the time during the 70s, mind you, when I was introduced to whole-meal toasted bread and I started my love affair with dairy products - Fernleaf fresh milk and butter from New Zealand. This was because my late Pak Long, Allahyarham Ali Bin Hasan (a famous architect in JB in those times) had those for his breakfast and dinner. I would slurp the milk like a cat, relishing its creamy taste at the same time extending and flicking my tongue to lick every drop which remained at the bottom of the glass. Milk had never tasted so good for me because my dad could not afford such enriched-calcium luxury nutritional drink for his underweight and bamboo-stick like daughter.

So where did Allahyarham Muhammad come into the picture you might ask? He was the youngest of a pair of twins out of a family of four boys. He would be the one to fuss over us - bringing us around JB, sending us to the circus and carnival to occupy our time and buying hawker food and ice-cream for our forever growling stomachs. We also exchanged some serves and drop shots at the court.

There was once during my JB holiday retreat, I noticed a red, yellow and black striped snake beside a drain near a fig tree. I alerted Abang Muhammad. Grabbing a stick, he relentlessly combed the area and hunted the reptile with his 'killer instincts' looks. Though the snake outwitted us and was never found, he made sure that our room was not intruded by that unwelcomed guest. He was rather stern and serious looking but behind that facade and persona lay a warm man with a soft heart. He had our welfare in his heart and truly ensured that we were entertained every time we spent our holidays in JB.

The last time we met at Abang Muhammad's terraced house, his hospitality did not stop though he was not too well and looked frail and weak. He got us drinks and we ended up talking about old times and his present state. He even offered us his Mersing Chalet should we need to use it on our drive up to that coastal town. Sadly, his last days were spent on a wheelchair. His demise was too premature but Allah loves him more than us. We could only send him off with Surah Yasin and Alfatheha.

May Allah Bless Allahyarham Muhammad Bin Ali Hassan.

Al-Fateha.

A WEDDING AFFAIR

A wedding is a reunion of two people who are in love and a congregation of relatives joining the joyous ocassion. Siti's wedding across the causeway was another happy reunion for all of us to be together again.

Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner. A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendships, all the enjoyment of sense and reason - and indeed all the sweets of life. I think you don't need to be on the save wavelength to succeed in a marriage. You just need to be able to ride each other's waves.

We wish Siti and her hubby an everlasting marriage filled with wonderful and romantic moments. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person. May Siti and her husband fall in love with each other endless time.

Enjoy the wedding slideshow.

FEAST & FEST

Enjoy the slideshow of a collection of photos we took on 09 Raya celebration.

FAMILY

Sometimes our hearts get tangled

And our souls a little off-kilter

Friends and family can set us right

And help guide us back to the light.

~Sera Christann~

HARI RAYA IS HERE AGAIN

The matriach of the Sabiah-Rahim Clan - Hajjah Sabiah Bte Sheik Madar

A new suit and a new chapter of your life

With mum in all her glory and warmth

New deco for the house too besides the new clothes

Thaqif asking for forgiveness from me

My Kitchen Officer Tini who ensures all cooking is done on time

Naqib Nizar with a broad smile and cash in the packet

I love you mum and I will take care of you in your old age

A serious faced Nizar asking for forgiveness

Time to be happy to for father and son

Togetherness as one for them

Please forgive me Granny, pleads Thaqif

Mum and her sister, Hajjah Aishah

A complete family is a happy family

Thirah and Nizar having fun

Thanks for bringing me up mum

Hubby asking for forgiveness from his mother-in-law

You would always be my support mum

RAMADHAN THEN SYAWAL

Hari Raya Aidil Fitri marks the end of the fasting month of Ramadhan. The words ‘Hari Raya’ means ' a day of celebration.' Many mistake Hari Raya Puasa for the Muslim New Year but it is not.

My family's preparation for Hari Raya can start at least one month before the festival. The planning involves deciding on what cookies to bake, buying of new curtains and cushion covers as well as taking trips across the causeway for tailoring new suits. Numerous trips to Geylang Serai, the place that is known for the Muslims to gather, is a must. Nowadays, you can even find Japanese, Americans and Indians tourists thronging Geylang to make their purchases of bags, shoes, costume jewellery, Turkish tablecloth and laced kebayas. Products being sold are becoming more international just like the visitors who drop by at Geylang Serai bazaar.

Tenders would be invited before the bazaars are set up. The seasonal merchandisers would be selling numerous festive items for Muslims. I hear they could earn $40 000 on that Ramadhan month alone. Carpets, clothes, bags, food, music CDs, household items,cars and costume jewellery would also find their way at the stalls. At night the place is lit up with glittering lights. There's very little space to manoeuvre your steps and you better be careful of your purses and wallets among the crowd.

There would also be a wide variety of food which would be sold at the bazaar and they include kuehs, otah-otah, cakes, buns, breads, curry, naan, pita bread, noodles and even Japanese snacks. Shopping for my two sons during this season is a breeze because they don't ask much.

After fulfilling their one-month of fasting, the Muslims would be joyful to celebrate Hari Raya Puasa.

On the morning of the festival, the Muslims would wear their new clothes and go to the mosque to pray. They offer their thanks to God and after that they would ask for forgiveness from their elders. This is an important custom followed by the Muslims. This tradition of asking forgiveness is a solemn occasion and always end up with tears and hugs. I feel that the young ones asking forgiveness from their elders is very essential and should carry on.

My siblings and their children would visit my house on the first day of raya since my mum is staying with me. There's always a lot of cooking to be done to feed the thirty odd people. It may be very laborious but I do enjoy buying the ingredients and preparing and cooking the dishes like rendang, ayam merah, nasi tomato, sambal goreng, achar, pachri, serunding, sambal tumis and lodeh. My kitchen can really feed an army. The cooking will continue till the next three weeks as more relatives, friends and students pay a visit to my abode.

Visits to relatives' houses would begin on the second day and for the next whole month for me and my family. When you have a big family like mine, you tend to put on weight immediately after the fasting month because you get invited to feast at every house you visit.

You lose some weight during Ramadhan but you gain more and faster comes Syawal!